Anxiety, Depression, Health, Medication, Mental Health, Notes, PTSD

Psychiatry Monday

BTW:  I’m writing these as sort of a record of what’s going on.  It helps me keep track of changes and reactions to meds and therapy.

 

Today was a fairly normal visit with the psychiatrist.  I’m feeling a bit better.  It’s getting there a little at a time.  I’m still hearing voices, but they are less frequent and less intense.  Dr. W isn’t as concerned as she was earlier in the month.

A few changes today.  I’m going down again on citalopram.  In need to get off of it because of interactions with the Lupron.  With that change, Dr. W decided to go up again on the Zoloft.  The only other big change is going up on the Haldol.  11 mg at first and then 12.  I’m hoping that will have to be the last dosage adjustment up.

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Mental Health, My story, Notes, Questions

Organizing Thoughts

I’m having a hard time organizing my thoughts lately.  More so than ever, my thoughts are scattered and racing.  I have all these memories just swirling around.  And I just don’t know what to do with them.  It doesn’t help I have writer’s block.  Just typing these few sentences has taken me a solid half hour.

So, how to organize the thoughts and memories.  Dr. D asked me to think about how I could organize the memories.  It could be by house.  I was 4 when we moved to MH from L.  That doesn’t make a lot of sense.  The time just doesn’t work out.

I guess I could organize them by time.  But so many things blur together that I don’t think it’ll work.

The thing that makes most sense is to organize things by abusers.  These incidents are separated pretty well in time and space.

Now to just get over my writer’s block…

Cats, Depression, Emotions, Family, Fibromyalgia, Medication, Notes, Self Injury, Sleep

What a Day

Woke up early because I had so much to do today.  Saw an email that said call home.  My Grandmother died.  The one person in my family who wasn’t completely psycho is now gone.  Well, she’s been gone for a couple of year.  Alzheimer’s had robbed her of her memory and in the end, took her body too.

Went to see Dr. P.  Just as I was walking in the office, my left ankle rolled and I ended up on the floor.  Yes, I was a blubbering mess.  He put me in the treatment room so I didn’t have to be around people.  I was so anxious and upset about everything, he decided to do an IV of Valium.  Yay for benzos.  Actually, it’s just a saline (maybe with other stuff, I don’t know) IV and then they inject the Valium through the IV port.  I don’t know why but after about a half hour, I was freezing.  They gave me a blanket.  I kept shivering.  They put another blanket on.  By this time they were concerned I was running a fever.  Nope.  I was just shivering for no reason.  On went blanket number three.  It was not cold in there.  I swear.  When they finally took the IV out and I sat up, the room started to spin.  I held onto the bed for dear life.  So, after roughly two hours I got out of there.

Next stop, Dr. K.  He upped the gabapentin to 1800 mg a day.  Tomorrow I get another round of the trigger point injections.  My neck is killing me.  They concentrated the TENS and the massage on my neck and I was almost crying while she did the massage.    It hurts to have anyone even touch my neck and shoulders.  My pain level is up to about a 7.  Thankfully, the gabapentin makes me sleepy, so combined with Dr. P’s meds I should be able to sleep.

Speaking of Dr. P, he’s got me on Imipramine (as the only antidepressant), Ativan, Valium, and Klonopin.  I don’t have much trouble with anxiety.  And I guess Klonopin can be prescribed as a muscle relaxer because Dr. P told me it can no longer be prescribed for anxiety.  And goodness knows my muscles need relaxed.  I really think I need something else for the depression.  It isn’t doing jack for the fibro and it isn’t doing anything for the depression.  He originally put me on it because it was supposed to help with nightmares.  I have no idea why he took me off the Paxil.  I think I’ll ask him about that next week.  I know I’m charting my moods with a web app, and hitting 30% is indicative of a good day for me.

Then I went to the bank to take care of some stuff.  That was easy enough.

Then I get to work.  Today I had 5 classes, 3 were taking tests, 1 was making ice cream sandwiches and one was basically going to color the whole period because I couldn’t get my brain together enough to actually do a real lesson.  As I’m copying tests, the copier starts making weird noises.  Ugh, the bloody thing is running out of toner.  Why?  Why today of all day?  With some kind words and a bit of shaking of the toner cartridge, I got everything printed out.

So here I sit.  Tomorrow is destined to be crazy as well.  I have to take Gidgette to the vet for her kitty birth control shot so we can get her out of heat.  Yes, she was spayed, but apparently they missed some ovarian tissue.  So I have to take her to the vet, get food and litter while I’m there.  Come home, dump everything and let Gidgette out of her carrier.  Clean myself up as necessary, and go see Dr. K so he can stick needles in me and then go to PT.  Then I get to go to work, grade tests, give more tests and have my boss sit in on a private lesson I do with her son.  Crap.  I guess I should prep something for that.

I’m tired.  I can barely keep my eyes open.  And I just want the whole world to leave me alone for a day.  From 1 to 7 I have to be in control.  I walked in the door tonight and just lost it.  Doesn’t help those damn suicidal and Si thoughts are creeping into the back of my mind.

Notes, Randomness, Venting

Things I Learned

Ulsan Station is not Ulsan Station.  Or rather the station formerly known as Ulsan Station is now Taewhadong Station.  Ulsan Station (which I doubt is even inside of Ulsan) is over in never-never land (near Tongdosa, best I can tell)  being the new station for the recently opened KTX (high-speed train line).  That fact was learned the hard way when R,A and I tried to get to the station formally known as Ulsan Station so they could go back to Busan and then I could continue on to the station currently known as Ulsan Station so I could take the KTX home.

Does your head hurt?  Good.  I know ours did.  I ended up getting out at Taewhadong Station (the station formerly known as Ulsan Station) and took the slow ass train to DongDaeDong (or some other such place) where I transferred to the KTX to go the rest of the way to Daejeon.

In other words, if you are formally from Ulsan and are visiting, note the change in names of the stations so you end up where you want to go and not a 20000 taxi ride away from it.

Notes

One Day at a Time

It sounds trite, but I’m trying to keep taking steps forward.  I went to brunch with two friends today.  Good thing it wasn’t all that expensive because I ate maybe half of it.

Upon investigation, my thyroid meds may be playing with my appetite and taste aversion.  *shrugh*

I’m going to watch TV or maybe read.

Laters all.

Medication, Notes

Med Notes

Just need to quickly jot down my meds.  And why not share it with the world so everyone knows just how crazy I am?

  • Escitalopram 10/10/10 mg
  • Nortriptyline 0/5/30 mg
  • Perphenozine .5/.5/1 mg
  • Amitriptyline 0/0/30 mg
  • Diazapam 2.5/2.5/2.5 mg
  • Bethanechol 25/25/25 mg
  • Imipramine 0/0/25 mg
  • Propylthiouracil 25/0/0 mg

Obviously he likes prescribing TCAs.  The Imipramine is new as of today.  He says it’ll help with the nightmares.  We’ll see.  Now to take something for the pain in my wrist and put the split back on…  Just got out of the shower and giving Gidgette a bath with her $23 dollar special medicated shampoo.