Or maybe not.
Fibro has decided to beat up my body again. I don’t know if I can keep myself from crying. Please no kind words about it’s ok to cry. I’ve heard them all and, well, that message is too ingrained in my head still.
Well, isn’t this fun. I’m going to do some stretches. Hopefully without screaming.
I just don’t have the energy to blog. I nearly freaked out when Dr. P told me to take two showers a day. I was frank and said it was never going to happen.
I bought a glucose meter. More often than not, I’m hypoglycemic. I have Gatorade on hand and a small can of Coke if my sugar really drops.
As before this blog is officially on hold. This is just an update for those asking.
This blog is officially on hold.
It’s been a blast. Not going to miss you in the least. You can go where the sun don’t shine.
And they had the never to ask if it if were possible for me to be out before Saturday AM. Hello? I work here until 9. Where would you like me to go.
And they found a new person. I will leave my plan book and a key to deciphering it. I’m actually am going leave the ticket incentive system I step up because the kids (well kid kids) really respond to it.
In maybe very well just leave this new person (was she dumb enough not to ask to talk to a current teacher or will this be the beginning of the screwing over).
Anyhow. I’m cold. I’m going to go jump in my prewarmed bed and dream of class number 0.
Today has been one of those days where I just don’t want to exist. Dr. P was slightly assholish for the first time. He told me to look up ACT which, by the paper he showed me, looks like a combo of CBT and DBT. I seriously didn’t need that today.
I went grocery shopping which almost pushed me over the edge. At least it was pretty empty as it was only 9:30.
For some reason I wanted pancakes, so I bought the stuff to make them. But making them left me so exhausted that I couldn’t really enjoy them.
On the way home on the bus, I spotted a furniture store and got off there. I managed to order the platform for my bed using my broken Korean and a lot of pointing. Unfortunately I ordered the wrong size.
I came home and took a nap. I could barely get out of bed because I had spams in my lower back. And of course it was too late to go see Dr. K, the ortho.
The delivery people came and as I was trying to clear stuff out, I tripped on the bed frame and banged up my leg pretty damn well. I also did something to my left shoulder.
Now I sit here crying. I have no desire to even contemplate dinner. I’d go get a hamburger or something but walking three flights of steps again doesn’t seem like a really good idea.
I’m just so tired of all of this. I wish I had a magic wand to take it all away. And it looks like it’s going to rain the next couple of days. Just wonderful.
I’m going to take my meds now and hopefully sleep. Because I really am tired to the bone.
On preview, I don’t know how much weight I lost, but when I got up to go to the bathroom I just pulled my jeans down. I thought I had unbuttoned them when I took a nap. Nope. They just pull right down over my hips. And these are jeans that were slightly tight when I bought them in September. Not that I’m complaining about that or anything.
Some of you may know I’m working for a bunch of crooks. They started it when they “fired” me because some kids said I smelled funny (define funny, damnit) who of course complained to their parents who complained to the school. The straw the broke the camel’s back was a kid saw me crying in my classroom (my pain was about an 11 that day). Kid complained to parent who complained to school who fired me. Nothing was said that the kid walked into a classroom with a closed door when she should have been in class (it was one of my two weekly breaks).
Anyhow I immediately started looking for a job and I’ll be working for a start up academy with no Korean teachers and run by a woman from the UK and her Korean husband. I’ll also probably be doing some IT stuff for them as well.
And now since I think my hands are going to fall off, I’m signing off.