So much has happened. I had an upper endoscopy last Thursday that was a literal nightmare. The good and bad news is they didn’t find anything. So I’m still nauseous all the time and have stomach pains. The doctor didn’t return my call today. Hopefully he will tomorrow. I’ve been crying off and on because the whole thing retriggered some of my PTSD issues. My anxiety has been through the roof. I guess I should call my GP and see what she has to say. I’ve been trying to hold onto my sanity until I get back to Daejeon and I can see my psychiatrist there.
Sleep is a joke. When I do sleep, I feel like I dream constantly. They aren’t nightmares, per se. But the people in them are faceless. It’s really quite creepy.
I’ve been living with high levels of pain since July. I was hoping it would calm down on its own, but that doesn’t seem like it’s going to happen. Again, I was waiting to get back to Korea to see my rheumatologist, but that’s looking 2-3 weeks off. I don’t know how much longer I can take pain at this level. Sleeping hurts, sitting, stand and walking hurt. Basically, everything hurts. I guess it’s another reason to call my GP.
I’m worried about going back to work. I’m worried about the time change and jumping right in to a new school with a curriculum I’ve never seen. Just the thought of packing overwhelms me.
I’m tired. I’m anxious. I’m depressed. And I hurt.