Dear Dr. P
Thank you so much for treating me with respect today. I was afraid when I came in because of the pain you would think I was just drug seeking. But you didn’t. You acknowledged the pain I was in. And you tried to find ways to minimize it. Knowing that someone believes me means the world to me. I don’t know if the new combination will help but at least I have some hope now. Even when I was crying you didn’t belittle me.
So here are the changes. I am to increase the Cymbalta to 60 mg. She also added Mobic. It’s an NSAID. She also increased the Trazodone to 100 mg to try to get my sleep regulated. Her opinion is that the nausea and pain is related to the fibro but wants to hear the gastrointestinal doc’s opinion. She also said that the Gabapentin might not have had enough time to fully kick in.
Yes I still hurt. Yes I’m still anxious and depressed. But at least someone is trying to help. I’m just glad she didn’t want to do a hands on exam. I don’t think I could have dealt with the pain.
So much has happened. I had an upper endoscopy last Thursday that was a literal nightmare. The good and bad news is they didn’t find anything. So I’m still nauseous all the time and have stomach pains. The doctor didn’t return my call today. Hopefully he will tomorrow. I’ve been crying off and on because the whole thing retriggered some of my PTSD issues. My anxiety has been through the roof. I guess I should call my GP and see what she has to say. I’ve been trying to hold onto my sanity until I get back to Daejeon and I can see my psychiatrist there.
Sleep is a joke. When I do sleep, I feel like I dream constantly. They aren’t nightmares, per se. But the people in them are faceless. It’s really quite creepy.
I’ve been living with high levels of pain since July. I was hoping it would calm down on its own, but that doesn’t seem like it’s going to happen. Again, I was waiting to get back to Korea to see my rheumatologist, but that’s looking 2-3 weeks off. I don’t know how much longer I can take pain at this level. Sleeping hurts, sitting, stand and walking hurt. Basically, everything hurts. I guess it’s another reason to call my GP.
I’m worried about going back to work. I’m worried about the time change and jumping right in to a new school with a curriculum I’ve never seen. Just the thought of packing overwhelms me.
I’m tired. I’m anxious. I’m depressed. And I hurt.