Positive Energy

I could sure use some positive energy right now.  The job hunt is going fine, I have a number of leads.  I’m slowly working through my Fortran course, asking lots of questions of course.

But I feel lousy.  The doc took me off antibiotics a few days ago but I’m not really recovering.  In fact I’m getting worse.  I don’t know if I should give it through the weekend and call on Monday or call tomorrow.  My gut (hahahahaha) tells me to call tomorrow.  I just don’t want to bother if all this crap (literally and figuratively) is my body trying to rebuild its microbiome.

Even though I’m trying to keep my mind active, it tires me.  My body feels like it’s been through a war.  I don’t know if just being home is subconsciously triggering me or what.

So yeah, positive energy and good vibes would be greatly appreciated.


Emotions, Randomness


Blah is the only word to describe it.  I don’t know if it’s the weather or the job hunt or what.  I’m tired.  All I want to do is veg in bed.  My infectious disease doc gave me permission to do just that.  But I feel guilty if I’m not up and around.

I don’t want to cuddle with the kitties, I just want to put a shell up around myself.  My knee still hurts and walking any great distance leads to pain.  I know I should get on top of the PT stuff but it seems like it will just take too much energy.

At this point I’m babbling because I have no real reason for feeling like this.

I’m gonna take my meds and head off to bed.  I’m definitely anxious right now so the Klonopin will help.



I have people ask how I can watch the show.  For the most part it doesn’t bother me.  I can’t explain why.  It takes me outside of myself.  And even when it’s fictional, I don’t feel so alone.  I think the only episodes that bother be are when they’re directly talking to children and making them recount details.  At that point, I usually turn it off because I run the risk of falling into my own head.

USA has been having SVU marathons on.  Between the fibro fatigue and recovering infection fatigue, there has been a lot of dozing in bed with SVU on.  I’m especially tired after doing my own home PT.  I need to get on the phone with the financial people and see if they can get me into real PT for my knee.

I plan on going to the library on Tuesday to do some stuff needed for my visa application and then some computer stuff.  Actually the computer stuff depends on how together my brain is.  I may just sit and read a trashy novel.