T – 13 hours and counting.
I’ve taken my regular night-time meds. I took the PRN med Dr. P prescribed. I’m trying to breathe. It was easier at work because I was busy. Now it’s just me and my thoughts. I’m going to take my iPod and listen to a very academic podcast (This Week in Virology, FWIW). I have to concentrate on what they’re saying to mostly understand. On the positive side, they’re humorous too.
I don’t want to go, but I know I can’t run away. On some level I need to prove to myself that I am stronger than my fears. And I have to remember there are hands in my mouth, not other things.
I think I’m going to sign off and try to get some sleep. Either that or cry.