Scar… No. Terrified

Standard

T – 13 hours and counting.

I’ve taken my regular night-time meds.  I took the PRN med Dr. P prescribed.  I’m trying to breathe.  It was easier at work because I was busy.  Now it’s just me and my thoughts.  I’m going to take my iPod and listen to a very academic podcast (This Week in Virology, FWIW).  I have to concentrate on what they’re saying to mostly understand.  On the positive side, they’re humorous too.

I don’t want to go, but I know I can’t run away.  On some level I need to prove to myself that I am stronger than my fears.  And I have to remember there are hands in my mouth, not other things.

I think I’m going to sign off and try to get some sleep.  Either that or cry.

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About katm

I'm just your typical depressed donkey. I'm an abuse survivor. I deal with the pain and stiffness and other fun stuff that goes with fibromyalgia. I used to teach English for a living but because of my health, that isn't any option anymore. I love to cook and feel most in my element when I'm in the kitchen tinkering around.

6 responses »

  1. 5 hours to go. I’ve given up on sleeping. So I’m going to be productive and work on my website.

  2. Just a thought … when I go … I take a blindfold and my ipod … so I can’t see anything and I listen to VERY loud music … so I can’t hear anything …. it helped when I had to have my four front teeth out! Just an idea xx

  3. iPod is definitely coming. For me, podcasts are more soothing. I have some highly technical ones which help keep me in the present because I have to concentrate on them.
    And if all else fails, I have my podcast on serial killers. The psychology is fascinating, especially as some of them were tortured as children. What drives a person to kill or to split or to just be crazy (like me)?

  4. So the dentist replied (after I told him what I was listening to) I’ve had people listen to classical, rap, hard rock and probably every other form of music. You’re the first to listen to a lecture.

    What can I say? I’m not normal.

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