Emotions, Fibromyalgia, Medication, Pain, Stress, Venting

Bugger

I’m leaving my job after my contract ends.  Ordinarily I’d stay.  But my boss has cut our winter break from 5 to 3 days.  You don’t know how much I need those five days.  The franchise fed her some cock and bull story that hogwons don’t give five days in the summer and the winter.  That’s crap.  I’ve worked at two other and talked to other people.  You get 5/5.  I can’t believe my boss bought it.  AND she broke my contract.  If I were a vindictive bitch, I’d take her to the labor board.  I’m not.  I saw next year’s schedule.  I have even fewer hours.  I’m not working for half of what she put in my contract.  I should have insisted she put the original amount.  I let her put what I’m getting now.  So I’m going to try to get a job at the same school as some friends.  I like the franchise books, but once you’re out of their ESL course, they frankly suck.  They have some sort of online things for teachers.  There are twelve units in the book.  I’ve yet figured out how to get past unit 8 on the web site.  I managed to find the answer key for one of the workbooks and printed the chapter I needed.  There was like 90% overlap between the two.  Book used word A, key used synonym B.  There are more than the average number of mistakes in the books.  I can’t spell.  God knows I be up shits creek without a spell checker.  But one of the authors on the series is a native English speaker.  How you do miss dong for doing, two pages in a row.

Yes, I’m venting.  Before this shit hit the fan, I had to deal with doctor turf wars.  The rheumy gave in and took out the Prozac (which I was going to ask him to do anyway) and the sleep med he prescribed.  I had two blissful weeks of sleep.  Now I’m back to sleeping but not sleeping.  Psych has me on amitriptyline, probably enough to put a normal horse to sleep.  It’s not helping me sleep.  He has me on tiny amounts of Valium and Klonopin at night.  He said that whatever sleep med the rheumy prescribed had the highest abuse potential of any sleep aide.  Have I ever shown him addictive potential in nearly two years?  No.  And the man hands out Valium like it’s candy. I’m going to give it the weekend.  I’ve already spent the days sleeping because I don’t want to deal with the pain (and I wad tired as hell).  Yes, I have pain killers, but I’m afraid of tolerance (different than addiction, thank you very much).  I need to ask a doc about that.  It’s Tramadol + acetaminophen.  I don’t like the acetaminophen one bit.  But apparently it’s supposed to give the Tramadol a boost.

OK, I think that’s enough for one day.

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2 thoughts on “Bugger”

  1. I was taking Kolinipin for sleep and muscle spasams and I found it very helpful. I stopped taking them because I am trying to wean off of all meds and have noticed a big diference. I am back to insomnia 3-4 days a week and terrible back spasams and sometimes think I ought to just give in and refill the meds but haven’t so far.

    Is acetaminophen Aleve? If so, I eat that like candy. It helps but a large dose is needed and it tears up your stomach so I am not sure if it is worth the benefits long term. I wish we didn’t have to go through this. I wish for a normal pain free body. I wish for the strength to deal with a pain filled body.

    It’s great that you are working, I haven’t had a job since April and want to get one but know I am not capable of one. Sorry to be so negative, sometimes it really does help to vent. I hope you have a good day.

  2. Acetaminophen is Tylonol. All of the OTC stuff doesn’t even touch the pain. When I took that Utracet (I think) (the tramadol + tylonol) and the pain went from a 7 to 4 I almost did back flips. Tylonol eats your liver, aleve and motrin eat your stomach.

    I’m used to the fist full of meds syndrome. The psych meds that kept me stable over the years… I don’t want to think about it. Somedays I just want to cry. I feel like my life has been stolen from me. But only I can make tomorrow better. So I’m trying.

    I am telling my psych that I want to lower the mega dose of amitryptiline and try a real sleep aide. Hell, I wonder if he prescribes trazodone. That always helped me sleep and I felt like I slept. I have to take what his clinic provides. They fill the prescriptions in the clinic, not at a pharmacy.

    My biggest problem is that beggers can’t be choosers. He is the only English speaking psych I know of in Daejeon. I’d have more options in Seoul but I don’t want to live there.

    What I really need is an Engish speaking therapist, but there doesn’t seem to be one in Daejeon.

    I get there. Somehow I always get unstuck and move on.

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