Fibromyalgia, Pain, Self Injury, Suicide, Work

Rest

Today was a day of rest for me.  One of the cable channels was doing a Harry Potter marathon, so I left that one and slept on and off.  I did go out for dinner and then to a coffee shop to finish grading tests.  It’s  nice not having that hanging over me.  Tomorrow I have to see Dr. P and Dr. K.  I basically need med refills from both.  And I have PT too.

I have this sharp pain in a new place, right under my collar bone on the left side.  The same side on the right is tender but not painful like the other.  I hate this.  I finally get my neck and shoulders under control and something new pops up.  I know fibro isn’t fatal, but I can see how it could drive someone to suicide.

Hell, the suicidal thoughts I’ve been having haven’t gone away, nor have the SI ones.  I’m just trying to take things one at a time.  Doing art has helped some.  But right now I feel blocked.  I feel like there’s a brick wall between my brain and my hand.  We all know most of my work is abstract, so why not just put some color on paper?  Because it has to mean something to me.  I could do that, but it would be nothing more than colors.

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1 thought on “Rest”

  1. I hope your pain and your “block” go away soon. I too sometimes feel that “brick” between my brain and my hand when it comes to my writing. You’ll get through it just keep on keeping on …

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