Anxiety, Fibromyalgia, Pain, PTSD

Triggers Galore

Yup.  Triggers galore.  And the back pain got so bad, I asked Dr. K to do the injections in my hips and the muscles near my spine.  So yeah, the laying on the stomach thing is no fun.  He pokes around and then he say, OK, I’m going to do the injection now.  I can make sure my eyes are open and I’m breathing properly.  I pick one object to focus on (his ultrasound machine) and I try to describe it in my head.  It keeps me in the present.  It’s difficult, and I still tend to slip into the past.  I’ve asked Dr. K not only to tell me when, but to say my name too.  Somehow, hearing my name snaps me back if I’m falling into the past.

PT is incredibly painful too.  They’re doing heat and TENS on both my upper and lower back.  They’re doing ultrasound and massage on my upper back/shoulder/neck area.  I know the pain of the treatment is going to make the pain of the disease decrease.  The massage part is the worst.  Again, I know it’s going to help in the long run.  In the short run, it sucks.  Actually the worst part of the whole thing is having to take my shirt off.  The PT rooms are very private and they cover me with a towel.  But I feel so exposed.  On my back.  No shirt.  Pain.  Yup.  Triggers galore.

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