Can I just have a do over for today? Woke up later than I wanted. Got to the p-doc. Saw him. Got meds adjusted (looks like what he gave me for nights will knock a horse into next week). He decides on another IV of compazine. Right wrist and hand out of commission for IV. Why does this nurse pick the palm side of the base of my wrist. Now I have a huge painful bruise. Oh yes, and after they injected the compazine (ouch), the IV site hurt. I finally asked then nurse to adjust it. That helped. Some. Then the flashbacks kicked in. I haven’t had one of this magnitude in ages. Full sensory flashback. I vaguely remember trying to curl up in a ball. I vaguely remember my pdoc trying to get me to slow my breathing down. I vaguely remember saying something like “No. I hurts”. He thought I was talking about the IV. I was talking about the body memories. He had the nurse take out the IV. Slow I came back out of my head. I was so embarrassed and ashamed. I didn’t even look at my wrist. Then I went to PT and saw the ortho. He’s going to recheck the x-ray in another week. He’s concerned there may be a vertical hair-line fracture in my wrist. How the hell I might have done that, I don’t know. I’ll go back to the pdoc tomorrow so he can check my wrist and let him know how the adjusted meds are working.
All I know right at this moment is both wrists hurt and I’m anxious as hell. And that’s after 7.5 mg of Valium.