Emotions, Randomness, Work


Today was graduation at the kindergarten I work at.  It was also the last day of kindergarten.  Because of extremely low enrollment, my boss decided it wasn’t cost effective to keep the kindergarten open.  On a positive note, the elementary program is booming.  I’ll see about half the graduating kindergarteners in the elementary program, but I sure will miss the little ones who are leaving.  I know as a teacher we’re not supposed to play favorites, but I can’t help loving Eric.  He’s smart, funny and has a great smile.

Eric's Awesome Smile

Blue, Eh?

You Are a Blue Pearl

You pride yourself on being unique, and people would definitely describe you as outside the mainstream.

You are a big picture person – and the details in your life can be a bit disorderly. 

You get distracted easily. You tend to spend time focused on dreams and fantasies.

You are growth-oriented and concerned with your ideals. You are always striving to be better.

I guess I agree with the last part.  I’m definitely growth oriented and striving to be better.  The rest of it.  Not so much.

Whipped Cream?

You Are Whipped Cream

You are unpretentious and down to earth. You aren’t about to apologize for who you are.You are sweet and angelic. You truly care about others, and that shines through in everything you do.

You are a unifying force. You bring people together and often are the social glue in your group.

You are optimistic and trusting. You give others the benefit of the doubt until they prove you wrong.

MT, Randomness

Yeah, I’m a Geek

So what?




I’m typing on my desktop and watching a virus scan run on my  netbook.  I’m debating the merits of waiting for Fedora 15 (are we up to 15?) to come out or jump ship to aptosid.  I’d like to get Python 2.7, and I’ve only got 2.5 on my desktop.  I should check the netbook and see what version of Python is on there.  Hah.  2.7.1.  I guess if I’m going to be working on two different computers, I should at least get the same version of python on each one.  Maybe I can do something with the rawhide repos….

OK, now I’m just babbling.  I have 5, count them 5, days of kindergarten left.  I have mixed feelings.  On one hand, I’ll miss the 5 year old class.  On the other hand, NO ARTS & CRAFTS EVER AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Not that I don’t like teaching it or anything.  It’s just a pain in the butt.  Or, the left pointer finger as the case may be.  Nasty run in between by skin and a hot glue gun resulting in the loss of a couple layers of skin.

I’m loopier than usual.  Night meds must be kicking in.  I’ll shut up now.  Virus scan is complete and I got the happy green check.  I forgot how much of a pain this whole AV thing was.


MT, Work


After a post over at Ask MetaFilter, I have a better idea of how to go about writing the meat of my mood tracking program.  I knew my first instinct was wrong.  When you  find yourself with var1, var2, etc and then doing var1+var2+…+varn, you’re doing it wrong.  I knew that.  So now I have some code snippets from some very smart people.  It’s just a matter of sitting down and writing more than pseudocode.

If only I didn’t have a stack of papers to grade, phone teaching to do, and tests to write….

Anger, Emotions, Fears


I was watching “You’re a Good Man Charlie Brown” today.  What?  I’m a sucker for Peanuts.  I was Charlie Brown growing up.

So a few thoughts starting going through my head during the Snoopy song.  For the most part, my life is good.  I have friends who care about me.  I have a job that I love.  But inside is this nagging anger.  I’m not saying Snoopy is angry in his song (though the section starts that way).  It’s this part of me that I try so hard to push down.  I try not to let things irritate me because it can trigger the anger.  And like Snoopy, I end up being afraid of these feelings.  As Snoopy realizes how high up he is, he gets scared and backs down.  I do the same thing.  I feel myself getting angry at a person or situation.  But then I back down.  I give into the other person or situation, even if I feel (or know) I’m right.

I know this doesn’t make a lot of sense.  I mean, a song from a musical is inspiring these thoughts.

Health, Mental Health, Positive things

The Psychiatrist Is Good

I have to say, I really lucked out with my psychiatrist.  He’s one of the best I’ve ever had.  His English is near flawless, which is a rarity in Korea.  He’s soft-spoken and gentle and generally doesn’t freak me out like some males do.  He actually listens.  He doesn’t make assumptions, he clarifies when necessary.  If he doesn’t understand something I say, he asks me to use different words (see language barrier).

Monday’s appointment was especially good.  I was recovering from a horrible stomach bug I had over the weekend.  I still couldn’t keep food down, but at least my fever had broken and I was no longer shivering uncontrollably.  By the time I saw him, I had been off my meds for three days and was completely bawling in his office.  I was so tired and my brain was so screwed up from going off cold turkey (not by choice, of course) the only thing I could do was cry.  I explained what had happened over the weekend and he checked me over a bit.  He was concerned because I was dehydrated and still unable to eat.  So he asked if he could do and IV treatment.  What the heck, why not.  I called work and told them I’d be a few minutes late for class because I was at the doctors.

His treatment room is awesome.  Heated tables.  Blankets.  Pillows.  The whole nine yards.  The nurse started the IV and as she was pushing the compazine, he was making me focus on him and do deep breathing.  Upon internet research, it seems like some people react with extreme anxiety and paranoia to IV compazine.  Then I just lay there for an hour enjoying the warmth and letting the saline run in.  I felt so much better when it finished.  It’s amazing what dehydration can do to you.  The funniest part was when the nurse finished pushing the compazine and he was sure I wasn’t going to freak out, he said “Enjoy your trip”.  I have no idea what he meant by that.  Perhaps something got lost in translation.

So yeah.  I love my p-doc.  They even fill the scripts in the office so I don’t have to make a trip to the pharmacy.

Now if I could find a good GP that doesn’t tell me to go see a specialist for every little thing.  Seriously people, clogged eustachian tubes probably only need decongestants, not a trip to an  ENT.

Randomness, Relationships

Chocolate honeycomb martini – For Melanie

Chocolate honeycomb martini | Wholesome Cook.


My best friend Melanie, who lost her battle with breast cancer on Thanksgiving, loved chocolate martinis. When we would go out, she always got one. Usually more than one. I liked them too, but I’m not much of a drinker. When this post came through my feed reader, I immediately thought about Melanie. There are days when I still can’t believe she’s gone. But I do know she’s around. I can feel her presence. And I know every day when I use something she taught me about teaching, she’s there. I’m sad and I miss her very much. But I know I’m blessed to have met her and to have been able to call her a friend.

So Melanie, this chocolate martini is for you.

Love ya!


Health, Venting


My mood sucks.  My health sucks.  I have some sort of stomach bug.  I’ve been running a fever all weekend.  I had to cancel plans with friends because of it.  All I’ve been able to do is sip water and sleep.  This really sucks.  Every time I do sleep, I dream about food.  I’m so hungry, but even attemping to eat some crackers leads to a mad dash to the bathroom.  I have no clean clothes for work tomorrow.  I haven’t been able to take my meds because, well, they won’t stay in my stomach.  Life pretty much sucks.  I wish I could take tomorrow off.  But that will never happen.  We’re such a small school, there’s  nobody to cover my classes.