Dive Dive Dive!

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I feel like there’s a bunch of stuff getting close to the surface.  It scares me, to say the least.  I don’t have the words to express how badly I keep pushing whatever it is that’s bubbling up, back down.  I know that’s not the best thing to do. But right now, I just don’t feel equipped to deal with it.  Between moving and starting a new job.  And then there’s the little fact I’m not doing well with the Zoloft.  50 mg just isn’t enough, but any more than that leaves me too agitated to do much of anything, especially at night.  Yes, I know I need to look into changing meds.  I’m on vacation this week, so I’ll try to find a doctor.

Weird dream?  I have them.  I don’t really remember them, so that’s a plus.  But holy cow, I wake up more confused than anything else.  Just once, I wish I could have a normal nights sleep.

I’m stressed at work.  I’m so not an arty person.  My first week, I had to make snail sock puppets.  They didn’t look like snails.  They looked like lumpy socks with eyes.  *sigh*  Even with all the crap at my last job, I didn’t realize how easy I had it there.

All in all, I feel like I should be doing better than I actually am.  I’m not sure where to go from here.

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About katm

I'm just your typical depressed donkey. I'm an abuse survivor. I deal with the pain and stiffness and other fun stuff that goes with fibromyalgia. I used to teach English for a living but because of my health, that isn't any option anymore. I love to cook and feel most in my element when I'm in the kitchen tinkering around.

5 responses »

  1. I can’t imagine any sock puppet looking like a snail. Yeesh.

    Lord, crack the door open just enough, somewhere between stuffed down invisible and overwhelming explosion, somewhere where the truth can be faced, even if aslant, even if in little bits at a time, and where it can be metabolized towards healing.

  2. You might want to chalk the snail thing up to the fact that its ugly in the first place!!!

    I agree that things stuffed down will explode. I also think that when dealing with some issues one shouldn’t do it alone especially if they don’t have the therapeutic resources to manage the emotions sure to accompany the issues. If you don’t have a therapist there perhaps a friend there or in the states would be happy to talk to you.

  3. LOL! You two really made me smile. I know it doesn’t matter they ended up looking like lumpy socks with eyes… the kids had fun. And the fun part is really what matters.

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