Anxiety, Emotions, Mental Health, Work

Vacation

I don’t do vacations well.  I always look forward to them, but then I wish I were back at work.  So I have two weeks off.  Next week everyone has off and this week only me.  I knew I’d go bat shit insane if I didn’t get some time away from the school.  And last week I was counting down the days until my vacation.  Today, while everyone else was at school, I was battling feelings of guilt.  I shouldn’t have taken the extra time off.  The usual week would have been ok.  I know this is dumb.  My classes are covered.  My bosses encouraged me to take the time off, and even wrote it into my contract.  But I still feel like crap.

I have stuff I need and want to do.  I need to CLEAN.  Yes, it’s that bad.  With two cats running around, there’s litter everywhere (not very fun to step on with wet feet).  I want to go see the new Harry Potter movie.  I need to go to the bank and pay bills.  I need to do some laundry.  I forgot to turn in my time sheet last week, so I need to go in and do that.  Plus I forgot my phrase book in my desk.  I have a feeling when I step foot in the school, I’m going to get yelled at.

Somehow, vacations make me more anxious.  It’s something about the whole me time thing.  I’m trying to talk some sense into my emotions, but they’re not cooperating.  After going hard for 2 plus years, it’s difficult to slow down.

Advertisements