Yeah, I’ve been thinking about my post from the other day. It’s a weird thing. I don’t really understand it. But I think it has something to do with unconditional love. I guess I still think that love = pain.
I was on the bed with Ivory this morning. I spent the morning in bed trying to finish recovering from this stupid sinus infection/bronchitis. Thankfully I feel human again and my voice is almost back. But I digress. I’m in bed and Ivory is next to me, curled up in a little ball. She’s purring away. I slightly shift positions. She comes and lays on my stomach and looks at me with those beautiful hazel/gray eyes of her. She was just happy to lie there and be scratched behind the ears. She didn’t want anything more than to be loved. And she was happy to give me the same unconditional love back. She doesn’t have to hurt me to love me.
We can play however we want. If she scratches, it’s just in play. I need to see it that way. I need to know she’s not trying to hurt me. It’s just play.
Sorry that this doesn’t make much sense. I’m still trying to sort it all out in my head.
4 thoughts on “Unconditional Love”
I think your post makes a lot of sense. I think children and pets definitely make me think about unconditional love.
Hey, I just joined Twitter and Bloggers Unite, so I’m updating at Technnorati and those other places. Now, you’re the second blogger I’ve found this week who I think I thought was no longer actively blogging…or maybe I’m just a spaced-out doofous! Ya never know! ;)
I’ve been pretty quiet lately. Been busy at work and some other stuff.
Here’s a thought on how to help Ivory see her claws hurt even unintentionally. What I was told to do was voice the pain when scratched. I yelped every time Bella accidentally scratched me. This helped her to see it hurt and she was more careful. It took a bit for her to catch on but it did work. As far as Gracie goes, she’s clumsy and careless so it didn’t work with her but it worked like a charm with Bella. It also works with puppies that nip. If you yelp or gasp they realize it hurts and they don’t want to hurt you so they’re a bit more careful. That’s just a little kitty and pup training tip.
What I thought last night when I read this was, as an abused child we felt pain but had to ignore it, had to find a way to manage it without making a fuss. As an adult we try to manage pain with the same skills used as a child. The abused child mindset is hard to break, boy do I know that.
As an adult I had a kitten (Bella) who like Ivory didn’t quite have control of her claws yet so what did I do? I found a way to utilize her scratches and manage that pain. My reaction to her unintentional pain was the same as my reaction to intentional pain as a child. My age advanced but my coping skills hadn’t. I still took the pain as if I had no choice. Allowing her to do it felt like I had at least a small choice in the matter or even some measure of control over it. The truth is Bella was a kitty who didn’t have full control of her claws just yet and she accidentally scratched her mother who has little control of her reactions to pain. I’m working on that though.