Depression, Emotions, Randomness, Venting

/me bangs head on desk

I could scream.  I’m trying to stay positive, but it just isn’t working.  I could use like a month vacation.  I had a parent complain about me at work.  I was yelling at her precious son.  That kid was disruptive when I had him in a preschool class.  He’s just as disruptive now that he’s in an elementary school class.  All the teachers know what a nightmare it is to have him in a class.  Every time I walked into that room, I wanted to jump out of the window.  The other 13 kids in the class were fine.  It’s just this one student.  So mom called and complained about me.  I shouldn’t have made him write sentences to punish him.  We can no longer kick kids out of class when they’re disruptive.  Putting him in the corner was a joke because he would make faces behind my back.  He’s just a kid.  Yes.  I get he’s a first grader.  But there are 13 other first graders in that class and a good 60 other first graders in the school who can come to class and not disrupt their classmates.  Hell, there are kids in the preschool who are about 3.5 years old who come in and sit down and listen to their teacher.  Plain fact is, he doesn’t behave like this in his public school.  But because mom is paying to send him to our school, he can do whatever he wants.

So, because this parent complained about me, I got pulled from the class.  That’s kinda of a shame, because I actually liked the other kids in the class and I enjoyed teaching them.  I got switched with a coworker.  I walked into our office after finding out (already shook up) and got jumped on by one of the other teachers.  She felt like I was getting preferential treatment.  As in, I got taken out of a class with a known troublemaker.  She didn’t get why I shouldn’t have to teach those classes.  Hell, I never asked for it.  And it’s not like the class I got switched to is any better (although it’s not any worse).

I’m just tired.  I was ready to quit today.  I’m 99% certain I’ll sign a contract for another year.  That goes down to about 40% if they don’t offer me more money.

Being upbeat all the time….  it’s basically performing for the kids all morning.  I never want to hear “If you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands” ever again.  But I get to sing it every freaking day for the rest of the month in 5 classes a day.  That’s 25 times a week.

Hell’s bells.  I really do love my job.  But when you have days like this…



I’m sick.  Ick.

I picked up yet another cold from one of the small germ factories at work.  Whoever thought sending sick 3 and a half year olds to school was a good idea should be shot.

To top it off, I have no voice today.  So I’m croaking through my lessons as best I can.  There’s going to be a lot of coloring going on today.  That’s all I’m going to say about that.

Once I feel almost human again, I’ll post something proper.  All of my blogs are getting neglected right now.

Emotions, Friends, Inner Child, Positive things

Jealousy – Update

I posted a few weeks ago about a fit of jealousy I had.  After talking it over with a friend, I decided to email Eric about it.  I was absolutely terrified waiting for a response.  And when I saw it had come, I was even more scared.  I didn’t know if I really wanted to read what he had to say.  I think I knew deep down that he wouldn’t be angry or hate me, but those were the fears I had.  The thing that helped me the most was him saying “If you can’t tell, I don’t think less of you for the thoughts, and I do think more of you for the actions.”

It was definitely a relief.  And in the end, I’m glad I told him how I was feeling.  Talking about it with him helped a lot.  And knowing that he understood where I was coming from made me feel less like a freak.