Still here

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I’m still around.  The body memories are terrible.  I’m a master dissociator, but they seem to be getting through the dissociation.  I can still feel the pain, even though I’m not aware of why.  If that makes any sense at all…

I talked to a friend last night.  That helped some.

I’m just completely exhausted.  I need about 6 more hours in a day to get stuff done and still have time to keep myself grounded.

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About katm

I'm just your typical depressed donkey. I'm an abuse survivor. I deal with the pain and stiffness and other fun stuff that goes with fibromyalgia. I used to teach English for a living but because of my health, that isn't any option anymore. I love to cook and feel most in my element when I'm in the kitchen tinkering around.

2 responses »

  1. sorry it’s so hard right now. body memories really suck, especially when you need to find out whether they are memories or something actually wrong (i assume you’ve made sure it’s nothing actually wrong, right?).

    commenting on the funerals post: that doesn’t seem so strange to me, but then i was a weird kid, too. made me think of the book “Each Little Bird That Sings” by, um, Deborah Wiles. about a kid who wants to be a funeral reporter. not the same thing, but similar. kids process in the ways they have available.

  2. I can relate. Some days, I feel staying grounded (if I can accomplish it) is a full-time job in itself. I’m sorry about the body memories. I know they stink.

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