One thing I continue to struggle with is reconciling how I see myself with how others see me. I’m making progress in not seeing myself as a steaming pile of crap. I still fall into the old patterns fairly easily, but I’m trying to look for counter examples that show I’m not an idiot.
But every once in a while, something that someone says will send me back over that edge. I start thinking “How can he/she say something like that” and “Don’t they really know what kind of a person I am?” repeatedly.
Case and point. About a month ago, I sent an email to someone reflecting on the last two years. I also included a personal message thanking this person for the emails we had exchanged. This person has helped me start learning that not everyone in the world is as untrustworthy as my parent. But the response I got from this person…
Getting back to you: you are REALLY SMART, and I’m not just saying that to be nice.
You’re starting to become aware of your potential, right?
Don’t stop there; keep going, set some goals, go for it.
I just don’t know. I think I know this person well enough to believe the part about not saying things to be nice.
I know that I should listen to what this person writes. I know that I should file it away and pull it out when I start to feel bad about myself.