Moving forward

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I keep trying to move forward. I have good days and I have bad days. I have times when I’m reasonably happy. And I have times I get absolutely terrified.

Today was a good example. We had some nasty storms move through the area. I am absolutely terrified of thunder storms. I just want to hide when they start. The noise is typically overwhelming. I wanted to have the computer on so I would have someone to talk to. But I knew frying my laptop would not be a good thing. So I shut it down and tried to distract myself. I started rereading the latest Harry Potter book. I tried not to let myself descend down into panic.

And you know what? It wasn’t so bad. I was scared. But I gave myself permission to be afraid.

It’s a lot nicer outside now that the storm has passed. It probably dropped almost 30 degrees in about 20 minutes.

I’m still pretty beat from being out in the heat and humidity for two days. So I think I’m going to turn in early tonight. I have all of this week off for summer break. I don’t know what I’m going to do. But I do know I am going to relax.

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About katm

I'm just your typical depressed donkey. I'm an abuse survivor. I deal with the pain and stiffness and other fun stuff that goes with fibromyalgia. I used to teach English for a living but because of my health, that isn't any option anymore. I love to cook and feel most in my element when I'm in the kitchen tinkering around.

5 responses »

  1. I hate the yo-yo-ing. At times I’d rather be one or the other. The yo-you effect tires me more than anything.

    Permission to be afraid….to feel what you feel without judgment or consequences. now that is healing.

    Austin

  2. The yo-yo-ing back and forth is the most exhausting part. But I keep trying to see it as something that is going to happen. I can’t expect to have 100% up time. I’m going to have the down times.

    I’m trying to change the way I look at my emotions. I’m trying to see them as not the evil things I thought they were. I don’t know how much I’m succeeding, but I’m trying.

  3. giving yourself permission to be afraid, how reassuring that must have been to all inside!!!!!!!!! kudos to you and for getting through it all. (((((katm)))))

    peace and blessings

    keepers

  4. Thank yo keepers and Marcy.

    Without support from all of you, I don’t think I would have moved as far forward as I have.

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