I continue to work on dealing with my fears of the shower. To recap, my main therapeutic strategy is systematic desensitization. Every time I go into the bathroom, I step into the shower for a few minutes. When I started out, just stepping into the shower sent waves of panic rushing through me. I’ve gotten to the point where I can stand there for about four minutes before the panic hits. My anxiety grows, but it’s tolerable. My goal all along has been to stand in the shower for five minutes fully clothed. I’ll then start over with my shirt removed. But that’s a ways off.
On to actually taking a shower. Again, the panic doesn’t hit immediately. I can actually make it about two minutes before I’m so anxious I want to get out. I’m still taking my showers just as fast as I can. But I can see progress.
It’s very slow going. It feels like I’ve been working on this forever. I haven’t. Actually, it’s only been a little over two months. But I’m working on it. And I guess that’s the key.