On Tuesday, my therapist asked me to start thinking about ways to make my bed a safer place.
I’ve taken a couple additional steps. I went shopping…
I bought some new pillows and pillow cases. I didn’t realize how old and cruddy my pillows were. And I wasn’t even using pillow cases on them. When I actually looked at the old one, I was disgusted.
I bought a new blanket. I had been using a ratty old thing I found in my grandmother’s basement. The new one is very cozy and a beautiful shade of blue. It’s really close to the color of the sky in the spring.
I bought a body pillow. I had one a couple of years ago. I used it when my back was really bothering me. I used to put it under my knees. Now I’m using it as a shield between myself and the room.
I only went shopping yesterday. So I’ve only changed my sleeping environment for one night. It didn’t make a difference. But then again, one night isn’t a fair test. I’m willing to keep working on this.
I’m not looking forward to going to bed tonight. Today was a pretty rough day in terms of flashbacks and body memories. Staying in the present was particularly hard today.
I did manage to tire myself out pretty well this evening. I’ve cleaned one of my two rooms from top to bottom, including unpacking the boxes from when I moved back to the US last August (depression will do that to you…). Then again, the only thing that motivated me to do it was the mere fact my best friend is coming over to use my computer to put in her grades to the online system (stupid district… hasn’t gotten around to updating their site to work with IE7, which almost all the teachers have installed on their home and school machines). So now I also have a nice clean room to sleep in.