I don’t really want to go into what pissed me off but good today… but I will say that I think I handled it well.
To make a fairly long story short, another person accused me of being abusive and bullying her on a set of message boards.
Believe me. I know what being abused is. And I know what bullying is too. What I said to that person was neither. In the end, I got positive feedback from two people I highly respect and neither thought what I said was wrong.
So how did I cope? The entire time this whole thing was blowing up, I was talking to a friend online. He kept me mostly sane. He even made me laugh (which is a pretty big accomplishment right now). But when the worst of the shit hit the fan, I simply said, I need to cool off. I’m going out.
I did. I went to the park. Walked through the ice and snow. It’s amazing what sub-freezing temperatures will do to cool you off, both literally and figuratively. I took my camera with me and took a bunch of pictures (about 40 of them if my memory serves me).
The couple of areas of the park I went to, I was the only person there. Go figure… How many people in their right minds walk through the park when it’s 30 degrees outside? No wonder I was alone. But the solitude helped. It was what I needed right then and there. I leaned up against a tree and cried all those pent up tears from the last few weeks. I made big snow balls and threw them down into the gorge. I let it all out.
(Note to self — when going to the park to cry and it’s freezing cold, take tissues… and gloves help too)
So I’m tagging this entry as a positive thing. Why? Well, I coped with my anger instead of stuffing it like I’ve done in the past. I let myself feel it instead of thinking “Good girls don’t get angry”. I didn’t resort to self-injury. In fact, the urges were minimal. I got some exercise tromping through the snow. And I took some good pictures.
Anyone who’s interested in seeing the pictures should click the Flickr widget on the sidebar.