Anger and Reactions

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I don’t really want to go into what pissed me off but good today… but I will say that I think I handled it well.

To make a fairly long story short, another person accused me of being abusive and bullying her on a set of message boards.

Believe me. I know what being abused is. And I know what bullying is too. What I said to that person was neither. In the end, I got positive feedback from two people I highly respect and neither thought what I said was wrong.

So how did I cope? The entire time this whole thing was blowing up, I was talking to a friend online. He kept me mostly sane. He even made me laugh (which is a pretty big accomplishment right now). But when the worst of the shit hit the fan, I simply said, I need to cool off. I’m going out.

I did. I went to the park. Walked through the ice and snow. It’s amazing what sub-freezing temperatures will do to cool you off, both literally and figuratively. I took my camera with me and took a bunch of pictures (about 40 of them if my memory serves me).

The couple of areas of the park I went to, I was the only person there. Go figure… How many people in their right minds walk through the park when it’s 30 degrees outside? No wonder I was alone. But the solitude helped. It was what I needed right then and there. I leaned up against a tree and cried all those pent up tears from the last few weeks. I made big snow balls and threw them down into the gorge. I let it all out.

(Note to self — when going to the park to cry and it’s freezing cold, take tissues… and gloves help too)

So I’m tagging this entry as a positive thing. Why? Well, I coped with my anger instead of stuffing it like I’ve done in the past. I let myself feel it instead of thinking “Good girls don’t get angry”. I didn’t resort to self-injury. In fact, the urges were minimal. I got some exercise tromping through the snow. And I took some good pictures.

Anyone who’s interested in seeing the pictures should click the Flickr widget on the sidebar.

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About katm

I'm just your typical depressed donkey. I'm an abuse survivor. I deal with the pain and stiffness and other fun stuff that goes with fibromyalgia. I used to teach English for a living but because of my health, that isn't any option anymore. I love to cook and feel most in my element when I'm in the kitchen tinkering around.

8 responses »

  1. Good for you…
    Your ‘park’ looks like what we in the UK would call ‘vast wilderness’!!!

    Trees are good for the soul. We should form a Tree Therapy group on Flickr.

  2. congrats on handling all of that as you did. we feel you did a wonderful job of coping and releasing

    keepers

  3. I too have allowed message board conflict to get under my skin. You did well. I enjoyed the photos. I like seeing where people live.

  4. Good for you! Yes, subfreezing temps will cool you off quickly won’t they? I took my walk around midnight the other night when my roommate Barney Fife decided to be a butt head. It helped a lot.

    I like the idea of the Tree Therapy group.
    Austin

  5. Also, boards can be helpful and somewhat stressful. Sometimes it is very difficult to determine how someone means a certain thing. Emotions run high on certain boards and people take offense “simply” because they’re own issues are at large. This excuses nothing. What it does it exacerbate the issues of others. Hopefully when this happens people can kick into their coping skills like you did and move on with their goals. Boards can be helpful so I’m not saying don’t go back, I’m saying know for certain that there will be times when people take things the wrong way because of what’s going on with them and when they spill it can have adverse effects or it can be an exercise in growth. It looks like you took the exercise in growth. Good for you.
    Austin

  6. Hi there… thank you for your comments on my ‘Inner Child’ article. I agree with what you said about coping with anger instead of stuffing it. Suppressed anger can lead to more undesirable consequences.

    PS: I thought you have very interesting categories in your blog. Can I put your link in my blog so my friends get to read your articles?

  7. Pingback: Angry at myself « Finding the Light in the Darkness

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