Child Abuse, Poetry

In My Mind

In my mind
I can see
His eyes looking at me

In my mind
I can hear
His words of hate

In my mind
I can feel
His hands on my body

In my mind
I can smell
The scent of his soap

In my mind
It is all there
Forever and ever

February 15, 2007

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3 thoughts on “In My Mind”

  1. Kathy
    Today is February 15th, 2007 and you’re safe.
    No, it’s not just all in your head. I know how the memories haunt you like a bad horror film. But sometimes when that horror film is on the TV screen of our mind someone else needs to come in and flip the channel from that replay and tell us, that horror film is over, you’re safe now…The big Kathy and the little Kathy are safe now.

    with hope,
    Austin

  2. I would also like to say that I can still hear my mother’s voice. I can still smell her and I wait, not able to let my guard down because I just know that as soon as I do she’ll pop up. When those thoughts get to be overwhelming I write them down and then toss them in my fireplace where they belong. I’m tired of her voice. I’m tired of her face. I’m tired of keeping my guard up for a woman who isn’t worth my time…but it happens..it happens to all survivors so I certain sympathize with you here. I sympathize because I know too well what it feels like to be haunted but I also appreciate it when someone comes along to tell me the horror is over and I’m safe. When I get stuck I need someone to come along to give me the most simple truths, Austin you’re safe now.
    If you don’t have a fire place then freeze them. Take advantage of this stupid blizzard the Midwest has right now and toss the scraps of paper in the middle of the street to be run over, to be flattened by tires speeding to this place and that, treating the voice of this abuser like the trash that it is.

    You might not want to toss it but ya know, sit it down in the street then walk away nonchalant like. If you toss it then run you could get a ticket for littering. If you get a ticket then please stop taking my advice.

    with hope,
    Austin

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